


Fated

by koiffish



Category: Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-17 19:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13665432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koiffish/pseuds/koiffish
Summary: After a nasty breakup, Karolina decided to have a little impromptu holiday, (literally) dragging a stranger along.Partly inspired by the quote: "We met at the wrong time. That's what I keep telling myself, anyway. Maybe one day years from now, we'll meet in a coffee shop in a far away city somewhere and we could give it another shot."





	1. One Day in Autumn

The speed of the train blurred the shapes of the people, buildings, trees, mountains…

It almost felt like life. Too fast, not enough time to savor the surroundings.

All sounds, images, and emotions swirled to a one big abstract painting. Beautiful in its own way, but hardly distinguishable. Barely making a mark.

Forgettable.

The train stopped at a station. People moved out, people moved in.

Even the constant stream of the passengers became a boring routine. Much like this train, running on the same track forever until the day the machine decided it had enough of going around in circles.

A young Asian woman, perhaps a year younger than Karolina took the seat opposite of her across the aisle. A muffler around her neck, a large bag on her shoulder, and digital camera on her hand.

She has a distant look in her eyes, like she’s saying goodbye to a long-time friend.

Karolina was unaware that she continued staring until the lady caught her. The stranger gave a hesitant smile and looked away, her expression veering back to its former state.

She cringed inwardly in embarrassment, turning her head to the passing view on the other side of the smoky glass and mentally scolded herself.

Karolina stared down on her phone when it gave a slight vibration, letting her know that somebody sent her a text.

It was her boyfriend.

“ _Where are you? Please talk to me.”_

Correction: her ex-boyfriend.

Karolina decided to shut down her phone without sending a reply. It’s just a waste of time.

What would you say to a person you spent two years with, and then suddenly broke up with you because he just got engaged (read: arranged marriage) to another woman?

He didn’t have the balls to fight for their relationship, to fight for her, or to even let his parents know that he’s already committed.

_What a douche._

A week of alcohol-consuming didn’t cure her heartbreak, and after an explosive rant from her concerned friends regarding her poor liver and kidneys, she threw away all liquors from her apartment.

And it might have been a bad idea because she’s getting this strong urge to get drunk again.

_Hell._

The train stopped at a remote location, several people started to move out.

Suddenly, the image of the ex waiting for her at the apartment flashed in her mind, and she really didn’t want to see him tonight, or tomorrow, or next week.

Karolina narrowed her eyes against the still open door of the car, and made a rebellious decision that she’ll probably regret for the rest of her life.

Three-five seconds was all it took to dash out of the train, and that comes with grabbing and dragging the girl who was sitting on the opposite aisle with her.

As soon as both of them had gone out – the girl was wide-eyed and confused – the doors closed and the iron wheels started moving.

“Oh my god..” the girl muttered in disbelief, she then stared at Karolina like she was some insane person who just escaped from an asylum.

Meanwhile, the train gathered more speed as it rode upward the horizon.

“What did you just do?”

“Crap!” Karolina slapped her forehead in realization. “I didn’t mean to drag you out. I was just thinking it… I didn’t mean to do it in real life.”

“But you did,” the girl pointed out accusingly.

“I know, and I’m really sorry. I just wanted to run away for a while,” Karolina reddened from pure shame.

_What the hell was she thinking taking this girl with her?_

“Look, I’ll pay your ticket for the next train, and if you want I can buy you refreshments while you wait,” she offered, trying to lighten up the situation.

The girl didn’t reply, instead she looked around the place they’re currently stranded on.

There was nothing much to see, just fields and hills and trees and more fields.

“You think they got some kind of town here?” she asked, undoing her muffler. “Maybe running away for a while isn’t such a bad idea.”

Karolina blinked, confused.

“I was asking about a town, you know, where people and civilization is,” the girl sighed in exasperation when Karolina was unable to produce an intelligible sound.

“I’m-” the stranger was obviously hesitant to give off her real name. “I’m Moon.”

Karolina’s brow arched in skepticism. “Uh, I’m Star?”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Star,” the girl briefly shook her hand. “Do you think they have a cab here?”

Karolina was still astounded by the sudden change of the vibe.

“I don’t know?”

“Let’s ask those guys over there.”

“Why?”

“Come on,” she grabbed Karolina’s arm and walked towards the few men near the station. “And don’t you complain, it’s your fault we’re in this place.”

“I’m not complaining,” Karolina matched her rapid strides. “I’m just not getting what’s happening right now.”

The girl ignored her, and instead waved to a pre-teen boy who was trying to ride his bike up the make-shift ramp just outside the station.

“Hey,” Moon displayed a friendly smile as the boy came over. “Do you know where we can hitch a ride to the town?”

“My pops can give you a ride,” the boy said, pointing to a man in a flannel jacket talking with some other men. “He got the truck with us.”

+

“Can I ask where you ladies are heading?” Stan asked – the father of the boy with the truck, the boy was named Michael.

They looked at each other, both sitting at the back while Michael was riding shotgun.

“Nowhere in particular, just sight-seeing,” Moon answered in her pleasant way which made them look like a couple of regular tourists rather than two strangers who just randomly jumped out of the train.

“You city people so restless all the time,” Stan chuckled as the road to the town became wider. “It’s also nice to slow down once in a while.”

“I agree,” Moon smiled, elbowing Karolina. “Thankfully, my friend here is so spontaneous, just taking a day off whenever she wants.”

Karolina fought the urge to roll her eyes at the sarcastic words.

“I must warn you though,” Stan told them as they neared some buildings. “We have a dreadfully small town, it could be a bit of a bore.”

“No worries,” Karolina replied as the truck screeched to a stop on a roadside.  
“We’re not gonna stay long.”

“You ladies have fun and don’t hesitate to ask if you need any help. People here are approachable,” Stan said as they got out of the truck.

“Thank you.”

“Bye Michael,” Moon smiled at the kid, and the kid shyly smiled back and waved as the vehicle lumbered away.

They both stood there in silence for several minutes, just absorbing the product of their bizarre escapade.

The tallest structures around were mostly just two-three stories high. There were no loud neon advertisements or signs.

There was a bookstore selling second-hand books, there was a local coffee shop, a diner offering pizzas and pastas, a community library, a video store, and an antique furniture shop.

It was a sleepy little town, alright. But the friendly ambience and its homely aura were irresistible. Karolina almost felt like she was really on a vacation.

“Where should we start first?”

Karolina glanced at the girl standing beside her. She almost forgot that she dragged another person in this messed-up unplanned instant holiday.

“I think I’d like a coffee, wanna check the coffee shop?” Karolina suggested.

“Hmmn,” Moon pretended to think. “I want to go to the bookstore first. I’ll meet you at the coffee shop.”

“Sure,” Karolina nodded. “Just don’t get lost.”

“What do you take me for? A two-year-old?”

Karolina shrugged, grinning.

“Oh my god,” Moon exclaimed, dramatically sighing. “Let’s just part ways before I go insane.”

Karolina shook her head in amusement as the girl headed towards the bookstore without a single glance back.

+

The wind chime hanging above the doorway of the café jingled merrily when she let herself in.

It was clean and spacious, with classic beige walls and different illustrations of coffee beans on the wall.

Aside from her, there were a couple of teenagers with a laptop, and a middle-aged woman reading a book in the corner.

She took the table next to the big clear glass window framing the outside view of an old tree in a mid-transformation for the fall. One half green and the other half orange-ish with splatters of red and gold and brown.

It’s as if a careless painter couldn’t decide what to do with the colors and just let his otherworldly imagination do all the work.

After ordering two mugs of coffee and some sandwiches, Karolina sat patiently as she waited for the food and the strangely-named stranger.

She smiled unconsciously when she thought of Moon and their impulsive getaway. Wait til her friends hear about this.

After a minute when the server came back with her orders, the Moon girl came with several books under her arm.

“Hey,” Karolina waved to her. “I’m surprised I didn’t have to form a search party for you.”

“Ha-ha,” Moon deadpanned, taking a seat in front of her.

“So, was the bookstore fun?”

“It was interesting,” Moon shrugged nonchalantly, but it was clear she was excited. “I found a limited edition copy of Jules Verne’s 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea.”

Karolina groaned in mock boredom. “Oh, here comes the nerd…”

“Listen to this,” Moon opened a thin crinkly book and the pages rustled beneath her delicate fingers. “I’m going to read you a cute story.”

Karolina sipped from her mug, the taste of the dark liquid trailed bitterly on her tongue. “Not that I don’t want to hear it, but it’s not my bedtime yet.”

Moon rolled her eyes, though she ignored the statement.

“Once upon a time-”

“Oh my god,” Karolina buried her face in her hands. “Are you seriously kidding me?”

Moon glared at her, however, much to Karolina’s annoyance, she continued reading. 

[ _Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived. One day, it was announced to them that the island would sink, so all built a boat and prepared to leave._

_However, Love wanted to persevere until the last possible moment but the island was sinking so fast that she wasn’t able to build her own boat.]_

“So, now I know Love was a lazy bum,” Karolina interrupted, blandly stirring her coffee.

She was again ignored by her companion.

[ _Love decided to ask for help when the water was rushing in. Richness was passing by in a grand boat and Love asked him: “Richness, can you take me with you?”_

_Richness answered: “No, I can’t. There are lots of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you.”]_

“Love was lazy and Richness was rude… what even,” Karolina chuckled to herself, enjoying a one-sided banter.

[ _Love decided to ask Vanity, who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel: “Vanity, please help me!”_

_But Vanity said: “I can’t help you, Love. You are all wet and you might damage my boat.”_

_Sadness was close, so Love again asked for help: “Sadness, let me go with you.”_

_“Oh, Love, I am so sad that I need to be with myself.”_

_Happiness passed by too, but he was so happy that he did not even hear Love calling.]_

During this moment, Karolina was silently giggling on the other side of the table. She thought the story sounded so ridiculous.

_[Suddenly, there was a voice: “Come Love, I will take you.”_

_It was an elder in a simple and sturdy boat. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder’s name._

_When they touched dry land, the elder went on his own way. Love, realizing how much she owed the elder had asked Knowledge, another elder: “Who helped me?”]_

_“_ I’m guessing it’s Rescue,” Karolina snorted.  
Moon looked at her solemnly before reading the last words from the story.

_[“It was Time.” Knowledge answered. “Time helped you.”]_

Karolina’s grin gradually vanished, and then she was silent.

Moon shrugged, closing the book and putting it down the table. “I guess running away doesn’t really help with feelings, huh? Perhaps we all just need time.”

“How did you know?” Karolina murmured quietly, her eyes downcast.

Moon cupped the warm mug with her hand and dreamily stared at the vivid colors of the fall outside the glass windows of the café.

“Maybe we’re not that different,” she replied, smiling lightly. “That train was not my usual, it was my first time boarding it because I wanted to be far, far from all those things bothering me.”

The stranger sighed deeply. “And I was actually relieved when you pulled me out of the train. Somehow, I figured I needed the distraction.”

A golden leaf separated from the tree as a gentle breeze blew. It slowly spiraled in the air and landed on the dull gray pavement.

“My boyfriend broke up with me,” Karolina confessed.

Moon looked at her with empathy. “I’m in love with someone I’m not supposed to fall in love with.”

They spent another minute in silence, the coffees growing cold.

Karolina reached for the book. “Can I have a look?”

Moon nodded, pushing it to her.

It was an old book consisted of prose and poetry and essays, mostly about friendship, love, and life in general. It was titled: One Day in Autumn


	2. Parted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Star and Moon parted, will they meet again?

“You said we’re not gonna stay here long,” Moon told her reproachfully, she even tried to pout for emphasis but Karolina thought it only made her look disgustingly cute.

Disgusting but cute, yeah. 

“It’s not on me that you kept saying ‘later’ while you finish all three books in one sitting,” Karolina retorted, venting her frustration in a heavy sigh.

“You could’ve dragged me, like what you did before on the train,” Moon reasoned, she kept wringing her hands like a guilty teenager caught making out with someone in a bathroom.

Karolina rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest. She felt goosebumps on her skin as the wind blew, the sky was dark and it was getting colder.

They’re still waiting for the next train to come, the station was already deserted and stars twinkled in the heavens.

Moon peered on her face and concern flashed in her eyes, she took off her muffler and handed it to Karolina.

“You look cold,”

Karolina accepted it gratefully. “Thanks,” the muffler was very warm and smelled of vanilla and apples.

“Why is the train taking so long? Was it caught on a traffic?” Moon complained after a while, she made an irritated huff with her breath and Karolina bit back a laugh.

It just sounded comical, okay?

Karolina repositioned the muffler for it to cover her mouth and Moon won’t see that she’s smiling.

“Do trains even have traffic?” Moon asked again, a crease on her forehead deepened. “And don’t answer that, it’s a rhetorical question.”

“Did it have flat tire or something?” she said impatiently after a few minutes of silence.

Despite of herself and the current situation they were in, Karolina actually enjoyed listening to Moon’s rambling and unintelligible mutterings.

Suddenly, the bookish girl perked up. “Hey, you hear that sound? Is it the train?”

“I don’t know,” she looked around and saw headlights in the dark not coming from the railway, the engine of the approaching vehicle seemed familiar.

“I think it’s Stan,” Moon said, also looking at the direction of the truck.

Sure enough, Stan’s clear face soon emerged from the dingy four-wheels.

“Hey ladies! What are you doing out here in the dark? The server at the café said you were in a hurry.”

“We’re waiting for the train,” Karolina was relieved there was another person for company, not that she mind Moon’s sole presence beside her.

“The train’s not coming,” he replied casually.

“What!?” they reacted in unison, both horrified albeit on different levels.

“They’re fixing the rails, so the next trip will be tomorrow morning.”

The girls groaned in disappointment.

“Oh god, why,” Moon whined, stamping her foot childishly.

“Hey, no worries, no worries,” Stan said, waving his hand calmly. “I can drive you back to town, there’s a nice bed and breakfast where you can spend the night.”

“Alright, we’re going back to the town,” Karolina tugged at the other girl. “And I don’t want to play the blame game so let’s just think of this as an extended vacation.”

Moon sighed, letting Karolina guide her to the truck.

“I can’t decide if this is the best day or the worst day.”

“As far as my days go this month, this is a good day for me,” Karolina patted her shoulder in a motherly fashion. “Cheer up, it’s not that bad.”

+

Their room was simple and clean, with two single beds, two bedside table, two chairs, two lamps and a bathroom.

Karolina opened the windows and inhaled the cold night air. It was a nice night, the heavens lit up with thousands of stars which were not heavily obscured by the light pollution compared to the city.

“I’m so glad my heels were not mountain high,” she heard Moon said.

Karolina turned around and her eyes widened in shock when she saw the girl unbuttoning her shirt and zipping down her pants.

“What the f- what the hell are you doing!?” she asked incredulously.

Moon looked up to her in surprise, halfway in taking off her shirt. “I’m stripping…”

“Yes, I can see that,” Karolina pointed out matter-of-factly. “But why are you stripping?”

The girl sighed. “I’m going to sleep, okay? And these clothes are not exactly comfy to sleep with. Rest assured, I’m not doing this to seduce you.”

Karolina scratched the back of her head in slight embarrassment with her over-the-top reaction.

“You could’ve warned me.”

Moon rolled her eyes as she freed one leg from the confines of the pants, revealing a toned creamy skin. Karolina tried her best not to stare so much, it’s getting weirder.

“What do you want me to say? ‘Hey Star, I’m gonna take off my clothes because I like to sleep naked’?”

“Fine, fine,” Karolina held her hands up in surrender. “Go strip, or whatever it is you do.”

Moon chuckled as Karolina busied herself with her beddings to hide her crimson face.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t seen other women without clothes before? You look seriously violated right now.”

“I have, just not someone I met nine hours ago,” Karolina replied defensively, careful to keep her eyes only on Moon’s face.

The other female shrugged, getting underneath the sheets. “I guess there’s always a first time for everything.”

“Do you always strip in front of strangers?” Karolina wondered loudly, getting curious.

“No,” the girl yawned, flipping off the switch of her bedside lamp. “But I’m too tired to care.”

Karolina reached for her own light before getting in to bed. “Good night,”

Moon smiled at her across the room. “Good night.”

+

In spite of her weariness, Karolina stayed awake and it was around midnight when she felt the sudden attack of loneliness and hurt and regret.

Salty tears trickled down the side of her face to the pillow. She turned sideways, avoiding Moon’s line of sight.

She bit her lower lip to suppress a sob, and was startled when the bed moved to the weight of the person behind her. She didn’t know the other girl was also still up.

“Shhhhh…” Moon whispered soothingly, she leaned closer and wiped Karolina’s tears with her thumb when the latter sat up and cried, futilely hiding the pain.

“I just don’t get it, you know,” Karolina sniffed to her blanket after her sobbing considerably subsided. “Am I not good enough for him?”

“I might not know the whole story, but I’m pretty sure he’s dumb for breaking up with you,” Moon tilted her head and stared at Karolina intently under the dull light of the lamp post streaming through their window.

“This will sound out of place but I just realized how beautiful you are,” she said with a teasing smile. “Maybe you should cry more.”

Karolina chuckled through a stuffed nose, and playfully hit Moon’s arm.

“You’re not helping,”

Moon looked at her thoughtfully, her brown eyes mischievous.

“Then perhaps this will…”

Karolina didn’t have time to react when her lips were enveloped with another pair of lips.

The kiss was warm and sweet, like a hot chocolate topped with marshmallows on a cold day.

If this was under a different circumstance, there was no doubt that it would lead to a more heated make-out session. But it wasn’t, and they’re both fully aware of it.

Though butterfly kiss or not, Moon achieved the desired result – Karolina stopped crying.

“Do you always kiss strangers?” Karolina mumbled shyly after they broke contact.

Moon shook her head, her fingers slowly caressing Karolina’s tear-stained cheek.

“No, but there’s always a first time for everything.”

Karolina smiled. She took Moon’s right hand and planted a lingering kiss on her open palm, murmuring a ‘Thank You’ afterwards.

The girl hugged her. Karolina closed her eyes against the comfortable warmth of her bare skin which smelled of vanilla.

“You okay now?” Moon whispered in her ear after a while, her voice came out deep and husky.

Karolina reluctantly nodded, not wanting to part, her forehead resting in the crook of the girl’s neck.

“We should go to sleep,” Moon let Karolina slide back to the bed.

“Always remember,” Moon said as she pulled the blanket over Karolina and patted her head affectionately. “Stars shine their brightest when the sky is at its darkest.”

+

When the morning came, Moon was gone.

Literally.

She left the old poetry book and a note on her bed.

There was no name, no address, no number.

Karolina tried to convince herself that it was for the best, there’s no sense exploring the unknown when in the end you know you’re just going to lose.

Besides, they don’t know each other.

And she has yet to get over this bad break-up for her life to be back on the line.

Karolina caught the next train, and when she got to her apartment, her closest friends were waiting in frantic, wondering where she was.

Molly, a hyperactive girl three years younger than Karolina. And Gert, arguably the most level-headed member of their circle.

“We thought you killed yourself,” Molly was hugging her so tightly it was getting harder to breathe. “I was so ready to cry.”

“M- Molly, you’re smothering me-” Karolina wriggled out of her grasp and drew oxygen for her deprived lungs.

“Well, don’t just go like that without informing us,” Gert was visibly relieved.

“And your phone was out. I’m telling you, Chase was out of his mind looking for you.”

That name made Karolina stiffen in distaste. “Serves him right.” 

“Sorry,” Gert looked very apologetic. “I know you’re still on bad terms but the guy is genuinely concerned.”

“Well, from now on, don’t mention his name to me ever again.”

“Yeah, me too,” Molly glared at Gert and the latter glared back.

“Fine,” Gert conceded, not in the mood to argue. “Just tell us what you did because I’m dying for details.”

“Yes!” Molly grinned like an overexcited puppy, she even sounded like one. “Did you go clubbing all night and hooked up with someone and was like livin la vida loca?”

“What?” Karolina laughed as she fumbled with her keys and opened the door. “Do I look like I was out all night and livin la vida loca?”

“Well, nah, not really,” Molly was downright disappointed as she surveyed Karolina’s current physical state. “Actually you looked more or less the same from yesterday.”

“And that what makes it more intriguing,” Gert sat on the couch, staring at Karolina suspiciously.

“Spill.”

“Look,” Karolina closed the door and faced her friends. “I went on a one-day vacation to clear my head. And nope, no alcohol or clubs included. Just books and coffee.”

Gert’s brow went up. “And…?”

Karolina avoided her burning gaze. “That’s all.”

“That’s not all.”

“Yes, it was.”

Gert did not look satisfied, but she knew that if Karolina wouldn’t want to talk, you’ll never get anything out of her.

It’s best to wait. She’ll crack eventually.

+

For the nth time, Karolina read the note the stranger left:

_“Call the soft wind to come over me, kiss and caress my face,_

_whisper that the world is rich of love,_

_and see all things in colored beauty_

_learn to love the silence again,_

_teach me how to care for the cold rain,_

_bring me to your world where I can count every leaves that downs._

_One day in autumn… I_ _’ll join you in dreaming.”_

_I’m bad with poetry :) Thank you for that crazy idea of yours when you dragged me out of the train, it helped me in a lot of ways. I hope it in my heart that you find the happiness you rightly deserves. It was a pleasure to meet you, Star._

Karolina folded the note again and slipped it inside the old poetry book. It has become a routine, every morning, every night for the past 12 months.

Moon’s face had been a permanent fine-printed portrait in her memory ever since she began to routinely read the note, and she also started to think more and dream about her.

It now felt surreal. But there were doubts.

What if Moon didn’t really exist?

What if she just imagined her to be real?

What if the girl was just the product of her overactive mind and lonely heart?

_But the kiss…_

Karolina touched her lips, and smiled to herself. Her chest pounded with excitement. She waited too long for this.

She shouldered her overnight bag and sighed with her eyes closed, gathering the courage to pull off this plan.

She was standing at a train station.

Same day, same time, same train.

Let fate decide. 


	3. Reunited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Karolina find out who Moon really is?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you can guess what Moon's real name is by now.

The speed of the train blurred the shapes of the people, buildings, trees, mountains…

But for Karolina, it couldn’t get fast enough.

The train stopped at a station. People moved out, people moved in.

She didn’t realize she was holding her breath with every sight of the passengers filling the car. The organ drumming inside her chest gave off a dull ache with every beat.

_Please… please…_

A young woman, perhaps a year or a couple younger than Karolina took the seat opposite of her across the aisle.

It wasn’t Moon.

The doors slid closed, and with it was Karolina’s last hope.

She sighed, and tried to swallow back something lodged in her throat as the train ambled forward.

Her eyes stung as she chuckled bitterly.

She shouldn’t have expected that the stranger would even remember someone as trivial as her. It was a stupid idea to wish for a tiny bit of thought from the girl she met one year ago.

She was a fool for hanging on to the memories of the encounter, and to actually believe that the other one would do the same.

Oh well, Karolina inhaled, calming herself.

 _Let’s go get drunk and wallow in self-pity_.

The train stopped at a remote location. Several people started to move out.

Karolina had to drag her feet towards the doors, her disappointment pulling her body down like a heavy lead.

As soon as she stepped out and once again saw the all-too-familiar scenery of the fields, hills, trees, and more fields. Waves after waves of nostalgia hit her.

It was a bittersweet experience. She didn’t know whether to be happy or to be sad, to laugh or to cry, to be thankful that she came back or to regret the very decision.

And then she turned her head to the direction of the station.

At first, she wasn’t sure if she’s dreaming or hallucinating.

But the girl with a muffler standing there was just too real, with an anxious-excited expression on her face as she carefully stared on every person disembarking from the train. She was nervously wringing her hands like a teenager caught making out with someone in the bathroom.

Their eyes met.. and the world stopped spinning.

Karolina fought the strong urge to run and tackle the girl with a hug. No, she has to be casual and act cool.

She walked as calmly as she could to Moon.

But truth to tell, she couldn’t see anything besides the girl. She couldn’t hear anything besides the drumming of her heart filling her ears with blood. She couldn’t feel anything but the overwhelming bliss coursing through her veins.

They stood about two feet apart, both unsure of what to do or what to say.

“Hi…” Moon smiled, a little hesitant and shy but she was glowing.

“You weren’t on the train,” Karolina managed to say amidst of all the things swirling inside her brain. Her heart was just too loud she was pretty sure other people could hear it.

“I… I was a bit early,” Moon replied, she looked embarrassed. “Sorry.”

There was an awkward silence.

But then Karolina couldn’t really contain herself anymore and roughly pulled Moon in for a kiss.

She poured all her feelings to that kiss. Her thoughts, her dreams, her emotions, her happiness, longing and sadness. She wanted to tell Moon all of those things without the overrated use of words.

The other girl was startled but only for a split-second. She then parted her lips and readily accepted all that Karolina has to say. It brought back the memory of their first kiss.

Moon’s hand gently rested on her cheek, her thumb moving in circular motion as she kissed her back, just enjoying the taste and feel of Karolina’s lips and the softness of her body.

It was intoxicating.

Karolina’s arms snaked around Moon’s waist as she deepened the contact, not giving a single damn to the world outside of their fantasy.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Karolina murmured as she pulled away briefly to gasp for air, their foreheads touching. She could smell the faint vanilla scent of Moon’s skin.

“And I can’t believe you waited for a year to see me again,” Moon giggled against her mouth, she quietly leaned forward and softly kissed her again.

A loud clearing of throat shattered the moment.

“Ladies, it’s nice to see you well…” Stan offered them a sheepish smile, his big hands covering Michael’s eyes halfway.

“Stan? Michael?” Karolina was genuinely happy to see the man, and especially his son who had grown about two inches from the last time she saw him.

Kids. They grow up so fast.

“Hello,” Michael grinned and waved, no longer shy around Moon.

Moon separated from Karolina slowly, a little embarrassment just sinking in.

Karolina sneakily fisted a handful of Moon’s jacket before the other girl could get any farther away from her.

“What are you guys doing here?”

“Oh, we’ve come to fetch Moon,” Stan replied, motioning to Michael to pick up  
Moon’s bag. “And you too, I suppose.”

Karolina’s brow arched in curiosity. “You were expecting her?”

“Yup,” Stan laughed as he got a glimpse of Moon blushing which she tried to hide from Karolina. “She comes back here every week since you guys first came. Every Saturday, regular as clockwork.”

Karolina’s jaw went down, utterly shocked at this information.

“He might be exaggerating a little,” Moon whispered, slipping her fingers in between Karolina’s as they trudged behind the father-son tandem heading towards the truck.

“I’m sorry,” Karolina whispered back with a pang of guilt, she gave Moon a small kiss on the cheek. “I should’ve come back earlier, I didn’t know that you would.”

“No worries,” Moon replied assuredly as she squeezed her hand and smiled at her. “The most important thing is that you’re here…”

_I’m in love with you._

Karolina bit back that phrase, it’s a little too early for it.

+

The entire ride to Stan’s house was spent in shy glances and nervous coughs.

Now that they’re together, Karolina’s carefully-laid plans all crumbled to dust. All that she could do was to stare at Moon and engross in every passing moment she was holding her hand.

“If you don’t stop staring, I’ll melt sooner or later,” the other girl muttered, lifting a brow at her.

“I can’t help it,” Karolina replied with a mischievous grin. “Am I dreaming?”

“Do you want me to slap you to test that theory?”

“No,” she chuckled, then slyly added, “Or at least not here.”

Moon blushed darkly as she turned her face away.

“Here we are,” Stan announced as they neared a two-story house with a white picket fence and a wooden gate painted red, it has a large yard and big tree by the side. It looked cozy.

Michael jumped down from the truck and opened the gate, all while yelling for his mother.

A pretty middle-aged redhead woman emerged from the front door wearing a flowery apron. She cheerily waved at them as they descended from the vehicle.

“Star, this is my wife, Kelly,” Stan introduced Karolina as they approached the lady.

“Finally, the elusive Star,” Kelly smiled warmly and shook her hand. She turned to Moon, hugging her and patting her back. Then she grinned knowingly when she spied their entwined fingers.

“Lizzy!” Michael shouted from the door. “Star is here!”

Kelly laughed at Karolina’s baffled reaction. “It’s my daughter. She was really looking forward in meeting you ever since you sent those lovely gifts for Christmas.”

Karolina suspiciously turned to Moon while the latter smiled crookedly and a little guiltily.

A four-year-old girl with red curls and dimples appeared on the doorway, her face brightened when she saw Moon, and then her mouth hung open when she saw Karolina.

“Lizzy,” Moon beckoned the younger girl. “This is Star, say hello.”

“Hello, Star,” Lizzy said quietly, not meeting her eyes.

Karolina felt a little silly using the made-up name but she played along.

“Hi Lizzy,” she waved with her left hand, Moon hasn’t released her right hand yet. “It’s nice to meet you.”

The girl mumbled something shyly.

“What was that?” Stan asked his daughter.

“Thank you for the doll house,” she whispered a little louder, and then she whirled around and ran down the hall, her feet making tiny taps on the floor.

Michael chased after her, telling her not to be so shy.

The adults chuckled and followed the kids inside.

“We’re having a late lunch,” Kelly told the girls as she ushered them inside.

“Moon, same room upstairs if you want to dump your things.”

Moon nodded and thanked Kelly. She took her bag and started to climb the stairs.

Karolina looked down at her hand, still a prisoner of the girl. “You do realize you’re still holding my hand?”

Moon rolled her eyes and dragged her along.

“You do realize I’m not letting you go?”

+

“So, I gave Michael a new bike and Lizzy a Victorian doll house?” Karolina asked Moon as the latter was changing to a more comfortable set of clothes. “Wow, I’m a very generous person.”

“Yeah, you still owe me for those,” Moon laughed as she slipped to a knitted pullover.

“Hmmn,” Karolina walked to her and grabbed the girl by the waist. “Do you mind if I pay you back in kind?”

Moon smiled lazily, eyes heavy with affection, her hands traveled up to Karolina’s shoulders.

“Make your offer, then. I might consider.”

A loud knocking on their door, however, interrupted the dealings.

“We’re eating!” Michael’s voice penetrated the heavy wood.

Karolina groaned and rolled her eyes in disappointment as Moon leaned her head and giggled to her neck.

“Let’s go, lovely,” she said, pulling her by the hand. “We’ll have plenty of time later.”

+

The late lunch shared with Stan’s family was enjoyable and much less awkward than Karolina had expected.

She found out that Moon had been a regular visitor to the family and even attended both Michael and Lizzy’s birthday. She even helped Kelly maintain a vegetable garden at the back and at the moment was in the process of planning to build a tree house with Stan’s help, of course.

She briefly wondered of Moon’s profession, it seemed like she can do anything. But she still hasn’t revealed her real name, much less her life.

Karolina stopped analyzing questions in her mind and turned her attention back to the people around the table.

Michael was animatedly talking and was telling them about his school and his friends and learning new tricks with his bike that Karolina had ‘given’ him.

Lizzy, however, was still a little shy but Karolina caught the young girl stealing glances on her.

While Michael was going on about the baby bird that had fallen from the nest he and his friends found in a nearby park, Moon casually let her left hand fall down from the table, it landed on Karolina’s lap.

Karolina almost choked on her salad, and was eternally grateful that the table cloth was halfway down the floor.

Her grip on the fork tightened when Moon’s hand slowly ran up her thigh, while the other carried on eating as if nothing was happening.

She held her breath as the sneaky hand continued to sensually stroke her legs, producing heat that was gradually building up inside Karolina’s body.

Karolina gritted her teeth and forced a casual smile when Kelly’s eyes flicked on her.

“Are you okay?” the housewife asked her. “You looked kinda red.”

“I’m fine…” she huffed, and reached for her water, meanwhile, Moon’s hand left her.

“Can I use the restroom?” Karolina stood up, in dire need of cold water to the face.

“Yeah, just go down the hall, and the door to your right,” Kelly directed her.

“Thanks,” Karolina glared venomously at Moon before leaving the table.

Moon just smiled back innocently.

“Oh gosh…” Karolina leaned weakly on the restroom door after closing it, her cheeks still hot from blushing. “That woman is killing me.”

There was a knock on the door and when she cracked it open, Moon’s grinning face was on the other side. Karolina quickly pulled her inside and pushed her against the door as she fiercely devoured her lips for revenge.

“You torture me,” Karolina panted after minutes of torrid kissing, her mouth traveling to the girl’s jawline.

Moon laughed, hooking an arm around Karolina’s neck.

“I’m torturing you? You should be thankful that I have so much self-control or I would have had you back there at the table.”

“I wouldn’t mind,” Karolina chuckled, nibbling her earlobe. “It was just the family I’m worried about.”

“We should go back there,” Moon held Karolina’s face with both hands, staring deep into her eyes. “They’ll get suspicious.”

“Aw,” Karolina pouted, acting cute on purpose. “Do we have to?”

Moon rolled her eyes but smiled. “Yes, we have to.”

She sighed, giving in. “Fine, but on one condition, don’t do those sneaky hands again when we have company.”

“Aw, busted,” Moon laughed and blushed. “I was planning on it.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> probably last update for this week.. I still have other continuing fics to write ;)
> 
> Happy Lunar New Year to those celebrating it, may you have a good and prosperous year ahead ^_^


	4. Known

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karolina finally met her ex-boyfriend's fiancee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, Happy Valentines!

“You are not the one to kiss the earth…”

Moon rested her chin on her propped hand and stared at Karolina who was lying down the bed next to her.

“Your whole life was spent in the warm cradle of the sky,” she continued, looking vague and mysterious.

Karolina chuckled, turning to her side to face the girl.

“Because I’m Star?”

Moon smiled and leaned down to kiss her gently.

“Because you’re Star,” she murmured to her mouth.

“You’re getting good with poetry,” Karolina reached up and caressed her cheek.   
“But you have to work on your kissing.”

Moon laughed, shaking the bed.

“Can you teach me, then?” she grinned seductively.

“It just so happened that yours truly is an expert at that particular area,” Karolina wiggled her brows, eliciting another laugh from the girl.

There was silence after Moon’s laughter subsided. They stared at each other for a long while, then Karolina raised her head and shyly pecked at Moon’s lips.

There was something very sweet about it that Moon couldn’t stop smiling. She traced Karolina’s jaw with her forefinger, admiring the perfect curves of her features.

“So, what are your plans?”

“For what?”

“For tonight.”

Karolina fell into deep thought, or at least she pretended that she was thinking.

“I’m not gonna sleep.”

Moon lifted a skeptical brow. “Oh really?”

“Yeah,” Karolina nodded feebly. “I just plan to stare at you all night.”

“What _if_ you fell asleep?”

“I won’t.”

Moon rolled her eyes at Karolina’s stubbornness. “What if, considering all possible things that might or might not occur tonight, you fell asleep?”

“I won’t,” Karolina insisted, enjoying the annoyed look displayed on Moon’s face.

“Room for doubt?”

“Nah,” Karolina shook her head.

“Okay, then,” Moon’s eyes gleamed playfully. “If ever you did, though. I’m gonna draw on your face.”

Karolina giggled, poking Moon’s cheek with a finger. “You better be good with art, then. Because if my beauty got ruined, I can’t promise I won’t retaliate.”

“Oh, my gorgeous goddess,” Moon squeaked, her tone raising a few pitch. “May this mere mortal ask for forgiveness in advance because I’m only as artistic as a sack of potatoes.”

Karolina laughed, launching a tickle attack on the girl.

A battle ensued when Moon fought back, her deft hands slithering under Karolina’s shirt.The latter squirmed away from her touch and giggled madly, then made a mistake of moving to the very edge of the bed, she fell down the wooden floor, producing a dull sound. 

“Oh my god,” Moon’s eyes widened at the sight on Karolina sprawled below. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah…” Karolina reached for Moon’s outstretched hand. “I think we might have a very intense relationship-”

The door cracked open ever so slightly, revealing red curls on the other side.

“Lizzy?” Moon pulled Karolina off the floor and strode towards the younger girl.

“Do you wanna bike?” the girl asked shyly, half of her face covered by the door.

Karolina hugged Moon from behind and whispered in her ear.

“I swear, these kids are conspiring to keep us apart.”

+

The rest of the afternoon was spent biking with Michael and Lizzy, with Moon on a constant look-out for the youngest child and Karolina helping Michael polish his tricks.

Needless to say, they were utterly exhausted when dinnertime came and almost had to drag themselves to bed after washing up.

Moon smiled to herself as she watched Karolina fall sleep soundly as soon as her back was laid on the mattress, her plan of pulling an all-nighter totally forgotten.

“Soulful music drift with clouds above…” she whispered to the sleeping girl, continuing the poem she was making for her. The girl, of course, was unaware.

“Playing with angels and looking for love…” her fingers moved several strands of hair away from Karolina’s face. The serenity on her expression was calming and peaceful.

Karolina’s presence beside her was almost enough to placate the turbulent waves of emotion she was feeling.

“Whatever happens, and from this moment on…” she leaned closer and kissed her forehead, a sad glint appeared on her eyes.

“My heart, forever, belongs to you alone.”

+

“Why can’t we leave at the same time?” Karolina asked Moon as the latter was busy packing her stuff.

She woke up to a bright morning alone in bed. Moon and the family were already in the dining room and having breakfast. After eating, Moon informed her that she’s getting ready to leave in a few hours.

“We can’t,” came the short answer.

“Why?”

Moon sighed and turned to her. “Trust me on this, while we’re not sure if this thing with us is going to work, we have to keep a slow pace. We don’t want any more broken hearts around here.”

Karolina wanted to point out that it’s already been a year since they first have known of each other’s existence. Granted that it was only their second meeting but it’s not like they’re rushing things.

“I’m guessing no name?”

“Nope,”

“No address?”

Moon shook her head. “Nope.”

“No number?” Karolina asked again, a hopeful tone in her voice.

Moon gently cupped her face with both hands and planted a brief kiss on her lips.

“I’m sorry, honey. But it’s for the best.”

Karolina didn’t like Moon’s arrangement with her, but she decided against voicing her opinion about it. She doesn’t want the reunion to end on a bad note.

When Moon was gone on an earlier train, Karolina spent most of the Sunday morning playing with Michael and Lizzy. The kids were very fond of her and she of them.

But she had to go home when the afternoon came, leaving behind a promise that she’ll be back – they’ll both be back next week.

Same day, same time, same train.

+

Karolina was startled to see Gert sitting outside of her apartment when she came home, leaning her back against the door. She merely looked up when Karolina walked down the hall to her direction.

“What are you doing here?”

“Waiting for you,” she answered curtly, getting up from the floor.

“Why?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because I don’t have anything interesting to do with my life and I thought maybe you could entertain me,” the sarcasm was clear in her words.

"Unfortunately, you just randomly went up and away.” 

Karolina rolled her eyes as she fitted the key through the knob, and pushed the door open.

“I’m tired, Gert. I don’t have time for reprimands.”

Karolina deposited her bag on the couch and proceeded to the kitchen. Gert followed her, sitting down on the table with furrowed brows.

“I waited for you for five-fucking-hours.”

Karolina paused reaching for a bottle of water inside the fridge, a look of surprise came over her face.

“Why would you wait for me?”

“Molly told me you’re not answering your phone, we thought you got into trouble.”

Karolina shrugged, chugging half the content of the small bottle. “I shut it off.”

Gert’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Is this a repeat of what happened before?   
Like when you had a one-day holiday? I thought you were over that.”

Karolina didn’t answer. She capped the water and put it back.

“I’m not going to ask where you went this time,” Gert threw her a sidelong glance, hint of irritation in her voice. “But god, Karolina, don’t shut off your phone!”

Karolina hoisted herself up on the kitchen counter and folded her arms across her chest.

“We’re not going to have this conversation. It’s my life, Gert. I’m not answering to anyone.”

The other woman sighed, noting her tone. “We were just worried about you.   
We’re your friends for god’s sake!”

“Well, don’t be worried,” Karolina expression softened. “I’m fine, actually I’m great. I just can’t tell you right now. But I promise you, I will tell you all about it when I’m ready.”

Gert inhaled and closed her eyes, then exhaled and opened them.

“Fine, so I guess you’ll just disappear to god-knows-where every Saturday and be back Sunday afternoon without as much as a text or a notice and expect us to not worry about you?”

Karolina frowned. “You’re making me sound so inconsiderate.”

“You are inconsiderate,” Gert replied flatly.

“I can’t with this,” Karolina jumped down from the counter. Her shoes made a thud sound against the floor. “If you guys are unable to understand that I can’t have you documenting every second of my life…” she let the sentence hang.

“What?” Gert’s glare made it obvious that she’s daring Karolina to go on with her statement.

They had a staring contest for a minute, then Karolina sighed and gave up.

“Can you just give me some space?”

Gert moved out of the chair, unceremoniously grabbing her purse off the table.

“Sure, take all the space you need. You know where to find me when you finally crave for friendship.”

+

After Gert left, Karolina felt the necessity to vent her pent-up frustration to the world outside. She changed clothes and drove around, wandering aimlessly.

Reaching a shopping center, she decided to look instead for books that she might give Moon next week. The girl was a confirmed bookworm and she vowed that the lack of reading materials will never be an issue for both of them.

Scanning the wide variety of books shelved in front of her, one caught her attention. It was a poetry book, Love & Misadventure written by someone named Lang Leav and clothed in dark red.

Karolina carefully inspected the book, turning it over to read the words written at the back.

“Karolina?”

She quickly whirled around at the sound of the familiar voice and found herself staring at a familiar face.

Her ex-boyfriend.

“Chase,” she croaked, she hasn’t got a tiniest hint she’ll be seeing him today.

“Hi,” the guy smiled but in hesitation. They haven’t had a proper talk since they broke up, and that was more than a year ago.

“Hey,” Karolina managed an easy grin, a friendly one. “How are you?”

“I’m fine, I’m good, thank you,” Chase sighed in relief.

Karolina obviously had moved on and was looking calmer unlike the last time they faced each other. Hopefully she doesn’t hold grudges.

“You?”

“Also good,” she replied, gesturing with a hand. “Just out shopping.”

“You’re reading poems now?”

“Oh,” Karolina looked down on the book she was holding. “Yeah, I guess. I mean, I’m trying out new stuff.”

“That’s great,” Chase’s smile grew wider. “I’m actually here to shop for furniture.”

“You’re redecorating?”

Chase chuckled. He scratched the back of his head, seemingly a little embarrassed.

“For a new house,” he said. “I’m getting married soon.”

Karolina blinked.

“That’s… wow, congratulations,” she laughed, genuinely happy for him. “Are you gonna invite me?”

Chase nodded, still smiling. “Of course, I’ll send you an invitation.”

Karolina couldn’t believe it, when Molly mentioned something about Chase’s engagement having woes six months ago, she thought the guy already backed out from it. Now he’s getting married.

“When will I meet the lucky girl?” she teased.

“She’s here-” Chase suddenly pulled out his phone and peered on it, then he smiled. “Speaking of her, she’s calling.”

“Hey, babe?” he answered the call. “Yeah, I’m on the second level… I want you to meet someone, we’re at the books section…. alright, we’ll wait for you here,” he pocketed the mobile again and threw Karolina a grin.

“She’s coming,” he informed her. “I think you’ll like her.”

“Okay,” Karolina glanced back at the poetry book. “Do you mind if I pay for this first?”

“Oh no, go ahead.”

After paying for the book, Karolina came back to find Chase with yet another familiar face. The face that she never ever expected to see in this particular vicinity, let alone with her ex.

Moon.

_But how?_

“Karolina, this is Nico, my fiancée,” Chase was entirely oblivious to the stunned faces of the two women in front of him. They both couldn’t process what’s happening at the moment.

“Nico, this is Karolina, my.. friend.”

Karolina struggled for a while to keep her face passive, her voice leveled, and her emotions void.

“How are you, it’s nice to finally meet you,” Karolina offered her hand, the same hand which caressed that same face from the night before.

Nico took it, tad reluctantly. It was cold, her palm was cold.

Karolina knew that she has to get out of there as soon as possible or all hell will break loose if this carried on for another second.

“Well, it’s nice seeing you again,” she glanced at Chase, and then flicked a look at Nico who was silently pleading for forgiveness with her eyes. “And meeting you, but I really have to go.”

“Wish we could catch up sometimes,” Chase casually put an arm around Nico’s shoulders. Karolina had to fight the pang of jealousy and the urge to punch him in the face.

“Yeah, catch up…” she took a step back, feigned one last smile and turned around before the tears started falling.

+

_Fuck._

Karolina felt tired and disoriented as soon as she came out of the shopping center. Her feet moved voluntarily towards the parking area. She wiped the tears away with the back of her hand. Her body was shaking uncontrollably.

_Fuck._

She couldn’t get a grasp of how deeply stupid she was. She’s probably the top one in the list of _‘The Most Stupid People Who Walked The Planet Earth”_. She played right into the hand of a stranger.

_Fuck._

Fate, you have a ruthless sense of humor.

Her head swam. She wanted to scream, to cry out loud, to destroy things, to throw a tantrum. And most importantly, kick Chase all the way to the Arctic. And maybe Nico along with him.

She exhaled all the air from her lungs when she reached her car, and then leaned her back on it, closed her eyes, and just breathed out the pain and madness.

“Star,”

Karolina wasn’t able to hold the second barrage of tears to the echo of that name.

She opened her eyes, and saw Nico standing in front of her, worriedly staring at her and wringing her hands like a fucking teenager caught making out with someone in the bathroom. 

God, she hated it when she does that.

Karolina unceremoniously brushed away the tears on her cheeks, she can’t look weak.

“Nico,” she mumbled, voice thick.

She saw the hurt in the girl’s eyes when she called her by her real name, and it produced different chemical reactions in her brain.

“I can explain, please, just give me the chance to explain…” Nico practically begged, her words came out broken and desperate.

“No,” Karolina stepped away from her, almost disgustedly. “Leave me alone.”

“Star, please…”

“I-” Karolina’s heart ripped when Nico openly cried. “I don’t care, just go… go away!”

She hurriedly slipped inside the car and started the engine.

“Star, don’t leave me…” Nico knocked on the tinted window, tears streaming.

The window hummed down, revealing Karolina stone-faced behind the wheel.

“Karolina,” she said firmly, not looking at her. “My name is Karolina.”

The image of the girl disappeared from the side view mirror as she backed out of the parking lot and stepped hard on the gas, not giving a shit to the speed limit.

She was trying to leave her feelings behind.

_I’m in love with you._

Karolina bit back that phrase, it’s a little too late for that now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "It was words that I fell for. In the end, it was words that broke me." - Lang Leav


	5. Wedding Invitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After what happened, what will Karolina do?

“Karolina!”

Molly pounded hard on her bedroom door, sending vibrations throughout the whole apartment.

“Open up!”

Karolina groaned, burying her whole head under a pillow to block out Molly’s persistent knocking and loud-as-hell voice.

It had been two days since the unfortunate incident involving her ex-boyfriend and the woman she’s supposed to be dating. She hasn’t left her bedroom since.

Of course, she tried to drown herself in an alcoholic ocean, in a poor attempt to wake up with instant amnesia and be able to forget about the whole thing. Which clearly didn’t work. Everytime she closed her eyes, the scene at the shopping center replayed in an infinite loop.

It was driving her insane, quite literally.

“Crap…” Karolina muttered, flickers of pain ran like an electric current around her head and felt like a surgical blade was dotting her scalp. Her eyes were swollen from crying, her stomach begging for anything other than alcohol and water, her mouth tasted bitter, her throat scratchy.

“Go away!” she shouted weakly, in response to Molly threatening to destroy the door.

“I’m not going anywhere until I’m sure you’re okay!” the younger girl shouted back.

“Then go back next week!”

“Karolina, I swear to god, if you don’t open up-”

There was a sudden silence from Molly’s side, then Karolina heard a faint sound of keys jingling, then the knob turned and clicked open.

Molly and Gert stood at the doorway of her bedroom, their expressions in an obvious disapproval at the state of the room – the closets were thrown open, clothes everywhere, bottles of liquor littered the floor, feathers from the torn pillows, the framed painting above her bed hung askew.

“How did you-” Karolina recoiled at the harsh sunlight shattering the darkness of her room when Gert pulled the heavy curtains aside.

“Looks like a hurricane went through here,” Molly gingerly picked up pieces of broken glass from a colorfully woven Persian rug, figured there were too many to pick and just decided to roll it to one side.

Karolina slowly sat up, wincing at the tiny headaches as she blinked against the sun, one hand shielding her face.

“How did you guys open the door? You made a copy of my key?”

Her friends didn’t answer right away. They just stared at her as if in deep thought.

“Have you always looked like that?” Molly asked hesitantly, one brow up.

Karolina narrowed her eyes in confusion, which was a little hard since her eyes were practically just slits now. “What do you mean?”

“If you actually look like that without make-up, then heavens, you have mad skills with cosmetics,” Molly vaguely explained.

Gert shrugged, glancing away. “I think Molly wants to say that you’re not looking very attractive right now.”

“Huh…” Karolina scratched her birds’ nest of a head, still swimming with emotions. “If I’m not having these issues at the moment, I’m pretty sure I’d be offended.”

“Never mind that,” Gert said dismissively, she took a seat at the edge of Karolina’s bed. “What happened to you? Everyone’s worried.”

Karolina let her body fall back to the sheets. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You’re drinking to death and you don’t want to talk about it?” Gert asked incredulously, gesturing to the quantity of empty bottles on the floor. “Should we just buy a coffin for you, then?”

“It’s _my_ problem, not yours!” Karolina snapped at her, but deep inside, she’s embarrassed and disappointed with herself. “I wasn’t asking for any advice in the first place.”

Gert gritted her teeth in irritation. “Then what are we here for? Is our concern unwanted?”

Molly’s gaze bounced back and forth between her older friends, unable to decide which one to support.

“Can you guys just leave me? I need to be alone.”

Molly strolled to Gert, gently tugging at her sleeve in a silent plea to humor Karolina.

“No,” Gert waved Molly off, then stood at the foot of Karolina’s bed.

“Karolina, I’m telling you. One more drink and I’m gonna call your parents.”

That did it. The mention of her parents just brought Karolina’s dangerously taut temper to boiling point.

“You’re gonna involve my parents to this? How dare you!”

“You’re killing yourself! What do you want me to do?” Gert’s voice rose even higher than hers. “Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? You’re an absolute crap!”

“For the fucking _nth_ time, Gert, it’s my life! If you can’t handle me at my worst, then feel free to walk out, the door’s wide open!”

Gert threw her hands up in frustration. “God! Karolina, can you stop being so selfish!”

“Selfish?” Karolina sat up again, face red in fury.

“I’m not selfish! A coward, maybe, but I was never selfish!”

“When Chase broke up with me like I was some shit, did I plot revenge against him? Did I beg him to stay?” Karolina was surprised when salty tears ran down her cheeks. She thought she was already out of tears after a couple of days crying. 

“And when I met _her_ , even though all I wanted was to see her again, I patiently waited for a fucking year! Even if it was massively stupid not to ask for her real name or even her number, I didn’t pressure her! And even if it pains _me_ to no end, I’m trying to let her go!”

“Is _that_ what selfish is to you!?” Karolina screamed. She then sobbed to her hands.

Both girls standing in front of her were in astonishment at the outburst. Gert was quiet; she was taken aback with Karolina’s words. Molly was arguing against herself whether or not to comfort the crying one.

Finally, Molly walked to Karolina’s side and hugged her. “Shh, it’s okay. Everything will be fine,” she whispered as Karolina wept on her shoulders.

“God, why am I so stupid?” Karolina managed between sobs.

Molly sighed as she gently rubbed her friend’s back, trying to ease the hurt while telepathically scolding Gert for provoking Karolina.

They let her cry for a while, having a hunch that she needed it.

Gert uneasily shifted on her feet, she don’t know the right words to say. They haven’t had the slightest idea that Karolina was currently in a relationship. Granted that they weren’t informed of it but still.

“Is this… situation got something to do with what happened last year?”

Molly pitched Gert a _be-more-sensitive_ look, but Karolina nodded as she blew her nose on her blanket, she heaved a deep breath, the rush of adrenaline slowing down.

 _Fine_ , _if they want it, they will get it._

“If you guys want to know what really is happening with me, then better listen up.”

“Are you sure?” asked Molly. “We’re not in a rush.”

Karolina looked straight at the girl. “Do you want to hear it or not?”

Both her friends kept silent and stared at her expectantly, obviously waiting for the continuation.

“It started several days after Chase broke up with me to get engaged to another woman,” Karolina began the tragic tale of her love life, but maybe sharing her misery will help lighten up her load.

“I was on the train and it was Saturday and… I wanted to get away so when the train stopped at a random place, I just got out and I dragged another passenger with me. The passenger was a female about my age or younger and at first she was mad at me but then her attitude changed and we just hitched a ride and went to the town where she bought a book and we had coffee.”

Karolina got up from the bed and walked to her closet, she opened a drawer and took out the old poetry book, the note that Moon- Nico wrote was still in it.

“Here,” she tossed it to Molly who caught it with both hands.

Her friend curiously leafed it open. “What’s this, poetry?”

“That’s one of the books she bought, she left it the morning after. We spent a night in that place.”

The note fluttered to the floor when Molly skimmed the pages, Gert took notice of the small piece of paper and picked it up. She read it quickly, and then her expression voided.

“Interesting,” she muttered, handing Karolina back the note. “She seems like a remarkable lady.”

“She is,” Karolina agreed, despite of the stab of hurt that just went through her.

“No wonder you’re acting all sentimental,” Gert’s lips curved to a cryptic smile while Molly gazed at them, clueless. “Your new _friend_ has a way with words.”

Karolina returned the smile with a bitter chuckle. “It was never my intention to fall for someone like her, and especially her. I just did. I don’t think it should be counted as my fault either.”

“Karolina, what…” Molly’s face was cloudy with confusion. “You’re in a relationship this whole time?”

“It’s not really like that,” she tried to explain. “I only met her twice, but there was this attraction that was so hard to translate in words. And I guess she felt the same about me but I’m not really sure now.”

“So…” Gert cleared her throat. “You’re dating _her_?”

“I’m not, at least not yet- it’s complicated because we’re literally strangers to each other. But that’s not the worst part,” she paused and sighed.

“She also turned out to be Chase’s fiancée.”

The room was filled with an uncomfortable silence.

Molly’s mouth formed an O. Gert was staring at her like what just she said was a bad joke.

“I’m serious,” Karolina was upset when her friends didn’t offer any reactions after a few minutes. “I’m not making things up, what do you think’s the reason why I’m acting like this?”

Her friends exchanged glances.

“How did you find out?”

Karolina stared at Gert for several seconds before answering. “Saw them, Chase introduced her to me.”

“That must have been really awkward,” Molly said quietly, she turned the book over in her hands as if in deep thought. “I wonder what kind of person she is.”

 _Probably the lying kind,_ Karolina thought.

“In fairness to her, she apologized for what she did,” she muttered, purposely leaving out the scene where Nico expressed her desire to be with Karolina.

Gert rolled her eyes as she took a seat at the edge of the bed, opposite of the two.

“You really messed up. Why didn’t you ask her if she was still single and available before plunging headfirst to this relationship?”

Karolina blew air from her cheeks. “Fine, it’s partly my fault, then.”

“Don’t be too hard on her,” Molly objected. “The girl should also be held responsible for not telling Karolina that info, also she’s cheating on her fiancé.”

_That, too._

“So you’re not going to confront this girl?” Gert asked. “You’ll leave it just like that?”

“It’s simpler,” reasoned Karolina. “Not to mention that I don’t have the energy and the drive to do that.”

“She knew your history with Chase?”

“I don’t know,” Karolina shrugged. “I didn’t ask.”

“Then I guess it’s a bit weird now to give you this,” Molly took out a shiny envelope from her bag, it has Karolina’s name printed at the back.

“What’s that?”

Molly smiled crookedly. “The wedding invitation.”

“Can I burn it?”

Molly shrugged casually. “I guess you can, who’s gonna tell them anyway? Definitely not me.”

“You will need a good excuse if you don’t want to attend Chase’s wedding,” Gert said, a shadow of empathy on her face. “I’m pretty sure he will be expecting you.”

“Maybe I could run away again?”

“You can joke?”

“Sorry,” Karolina offered, grinning lopsidedly. “Do you guys want coffee or anything?”

+

It’s really a miracle how by just spilling out your feelings and have someone listen to you help lift up your spirit and make you feel like you matter.

This day above all made Karolina realize how lucky she was to have sincere friends.

“So…” Molly was reading the invitation while they were sipping hot chocolate in Karolina’s kitchen. “Her name is Nico… and oh, she’s pretty.”

Gert twisted her head for a glimpse of Nico and Chase’s framed photograph on the perfumed parchment.

“I don’t think it’s the right time to comment on her physical appearance while we’re cheering up this one here.”

“Do you think Chase knew?” Gert popped a question in the air.

Karolina shook her head firmly. If there’s one thing definite in this whole chaotic play, it was that Chase do not know.

“If it makes you feel any better, it was an arranged marriage,” Molly reminded her.

“I’ll get over her,” she said. “I’ll get over them.”

_The lie maybe white, but it was still a lie._

“Are you sure?” Gert didn’t look assured.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you _only_ met twice in a span of a year and you seem like you’re already head over heels- if the way you’re acting were of any indication. I don’t think it will be easy getting over that girl if you haven’t had closure.”

Karolina already has an idea to which direction the conversation was going, but she asked anyway.

“You’re saying?”  

“Talk to her,” Gert said, she couldn’t be more serious if she tried. “You need to talk. Do it so you can start letting go and move on.”

 _What if I don_ _’_ _t want to let go?_

Karolina hated herself the second she realized that she’s still holding on to the memories that she and Nico made. 

Was there still hope in her?

Karolina almost asked Gert for a hard slap of reality but then decided against it, her friend could really be brutal at times. But she has a point, a closure was needed.

And there’s only one way of getting it, she has to talk to Nico.

Whether she like it or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI TO THE GIRL ON TWITTER ;)


	6. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karolina and Nico met for a closure.

Karolina had to enlist the help of her friends to try and locate Nico’s current whereabouts.

And courtesy of Gert’s stalking skills and the power of social media, they found out shortly that Nico’s spending some time in a lake house owned by Chase’s parents.

“So,” Gert was driving the car and Karolina was riding shotgun. “Should we stay and wait for you or you’ll just give us a call when to pick you up?”

Karolina sighed, briefly glancing at the one on the wheels while the GPS navigator droned in the background.

“Why can’t I just drive my own car?”

“Nah-uh,” Molly, who was sitting at the back, said. “We don’t trust your speed when you’re upset, so there’s no way in the world that we’ll let you drive today.”

“I’m not suicidal,” retorted Karolina. “Yes, I’m a mess but that doesn’t mean that I want to die.”

“I’m not saying that you want to die,” Molly argued. “But you could have an accident. Better safe than sorry, right?”

“Fine,” Karolina raised both her hands in defeat. “But you two, remember to wait for my call before picking me up. And never – ever – try to crash the party.”

“Don’t you want a back-up?”

Karolina arched her brow at the girl on the backseat. “Why would I need a back-up? It’s not like I’m going to a war.”

“To hand you tissues,” Molly shrugged.

She groaned, covering her face with her hands.

“Just please, the sooner you get me to her, the sooner we can get to the bottom of this.”

“I’m on it,” mumbled Gert, a crease on her forehead. “I just don’t know why the lake house should so be so far away from civilization, we’ve been driving for almost an hour.”

“That’s why we took the car,” reasoned Molly. “I didn’t know that Chase’s parents are rich though, I guess he gives off this vibe that they have money but he didn’t say they have this much.”

“I don’t think he would want you to know that. With him being so secretive about his background and all, you’d think that the guy is a son of a billionaire or something,” Gert swerved the car to the left passing the wooden signage painted with Private Road and led to a gravelly path heading to the reclusive estate.

The ride ended in front of a huge iron-wrought gate, one of the guards from a couple on duty went down from his post and curiously inspected the car, the other one stayed and stared at them behind the bulletproof glass.

Karolina moved out, a casual smile on her face and approached the uniformed man with confidence.

“Hi, I’m a friend of Chase Stein, is he here?”

“Sorry, ma’am,” the tall guard shook his head. “He’s not here.”

“What about Nico?”

The guard nodded but didn’t talk, his eyes assessing Karolina.

“May I talk to her?”

“Is she expecting you, ma’am?” the man looked cautious.

“No,” Karolina struggled to keep her face pleasant. “It’s kind of a surprise visit, but you can tell her that I’m here. Please say it’s Karolina.”

“Of course, just wait a second, ma’am,” the guard turned to his handheld phone and had a conversion with someone for about a couple of minutes.

Karolina shifted on her feet impatiently while waiting for the guard to finish his confirmation. Molly’s head popped out from the car, one brow up in question. She shrugged nonchalantly in response.

Finally, the man put down his phone and made some hand signs to the other inside.

The guard punched a code on the electronic remote that controlled the giant gates and the barred entryway gently swung open, letting her in. 

Karolina glanced at her back and waved off her friends, Gert took the cue and switched the engine back to life, backing up.

“Ms. Nico is near the docks,” the tall guard directed her. “Just follow this stone path and it will lead you to the edge of the lake.”

+

Karolina dutifully followed the pathway and soon enough had a glimpse of the sparkling waters of the lake.

A really large house – more like a mansion, sat basking in the sun on the other side of the premises. It was painted in classic white of which reflected the sunlight and will burn your eyeballs when you’ve stared at it for too long.

A female figure clothed in a flowing dress was hiking up from the docks. Karolina stopped walking, or rather, her feet refused to move when she recognized the woman.

“Nico,” Karolina whispered when she came near, voice breaking.

The figure looked up and saw her.

Their second meeting in the world outside of their fantasy was little less shocking but nevertheless still painful. 

Of all the things Karolina wanted to say, she didn’t know where to start.

“What are you doing here?” Nico spoke first, it was gentle but it was enough to break the spell restraining Karolina’s ability to talk.

“I want a closure,” she finally muttered, looking at her and acted tough.

A small breeze played with Nico’s white dress and loose locks, she instinctively reached to pin a strand of hair behind her ear, smiling a little shyly. Karolina swallowed back a word of admiration. The girl in front of her just looked really exquisite.

She’s still clearly attracted. Dang it.

“Closure?” Nico spoke of the word like it was foreign and her understanding of it was limited.

“Yes,” Karolina replied decisively, knowing that if her composure breaks, she won't get what she came here for.

“What do you want me to say?”

“I-” Karolina faltered.

_What does she want Nico to say?_

“I want you to tell me that we’re done,” it took all her might to bring those words out. It worked like a double-sided blade, hurting them both. “We’re over.”

It almost sounded like a protest to her rather than a demand.

Nico was silent. She then leveled her sadness-filled eyes up to Karolina’s line of vision.

“Is that what you want?”

_No. I want you._

“Yes.”

Nico chuckled dryly. “You’re a bad liar.”

“And you’re obviously a good one,” Karolina retorted, unable to stop herself.

“Look, I know how you feel-”

“You _don’t_ know! Damn it!” Karolina snapped out of her own frustration. “You don’t have any idea what I'm feeling so don’t act like you know everything about me because you don’t!”

Nico was stunned for a second. “And what about my feelings?”

Karolina clenched her teeth. The nerve of this beautiful woman.

“You treated me like a plaything. So do you think it matters to me?”

“A plaything?” Nico laughed darkly and without humor. “Do you think I would chase you and beg you to stay if I only see you as a plaything?”

“I waited for you for a year! I spent _every_ week hoping and wishing that maybe you’d turn up and I’ll see you again. I was ready to risk my engagement with Chase and my parents’ trust over my delusional belief that perhaps the girl I met only once in an unexpected incident will remember me or even think of me…”

Nico paused to brush away a tear that rolled down on her cheek.

“Forty-eight weeks, Karolina. Do you have any idea how much heartbreak I went through because of you? Every day the anticipation builds that maybe next week I’ll meet you again on the train, every Saturday I’ll have my heart broken. Next day, I’ll start hoping _again_. For god’s sake, Karolina, I felt like a fucking lunatic for a _year_!”

“I didn’t tell you to wait for me, goddammit. Now it’s my fault?” the other girl had to steel herself against the oncoming giant wave of guilt looming her way, she could feel her own tears forming.

“No, you didn’t… I only have myself to blame for that,” Nico looked away and wiped her eyes, she sighed softly and stared down the ground.

“I was ready to give up after the forty-seventh week,” she whispered, still speaking to the earth. “But _fuck_ it, you had to show up the very last day and kissed me like the world’s made up of rainbows and cotton candy…”

Karolina remembered the kiss.

_Every. Last. Detail. Of. It._

“Still, that doesn’t change the fact that you lied to me,” Karolina spat instead, trying to get the flashbacks out of her head.

“I hid things from you, but I never lied to you,” Nico told her quietly.

“That day on the mall, I really wanted to explain but I guess no kind of explanation will justify what I did to you, and to Chase. I know I’m a horrible person but my feelings are real. And if you want me to apologize a thousand times, I will do it.”

“I don’t need-”

“I’m sorry.”

Karolina exhaled, trying to release the stress building up inside her chest. There’s no need to drag this thing further, there’s no way around it anyway.

“I’m only here for the closure…”

_Liar._

“We’re over,” the dreaded words barely rolled off Nico’s tongue.

Both of them fell silent after that official declaration of parting, though they never became official from the start. Still, it’s something that needed a little time to fully absorb.

“You deserve better,” Nico stated bravely, but her voice trembled. “Find someone who can love you without conditions and reservations. It’s only a pity that person is not me.”

“You’re still gonna marry Chase?” Karolina was appalled, her tough façade broken.

“Chase is not just my fiancé, he’s also my bestfriend. And breaking our engagement will have serious consequences for both of us so I can’t just leave him,” Nico stared at her, smiling sadly and apologetically. “Nonetheless, I’m always grateful that I met you, Star.”

At the mention of that old nickname, Karolina couldn’t just hold back the influx of emotions that possessed her, it’s either she do something about it or she’ll explode.

It only took three steps for her to reach Nico, and a millisecond to get a grip on her face and devoured her lips. Nico kissed back just as passionately and deeply, her arms snaked around Karolina’s waist and pulled her closer until there’s not a tiniest bit of space between their bodies.

Karolina didn’t give her time to take a breath as she continuously moved against her mouth. Nico felt a tiny rip on the inside flesh of her lower lip when Karolina bit down hard on it.

It drew longing and pain and sadness.

The metallic tang of blood soon mixed with salty tears as the engaged girl’s eyes flowed fresh and trickled down their lips. Karolina wavered and paused as she tasted Nico’s tears on her tongue and pulled away to let the air in between them.

Nico gasped for oxygen and readied herself for another series of Karolina’s form of punishment. The latter leaned in once again to take her lips, but this time, the kiss was gentler, softer and sweeter.

It brought back memories, the happy ones. The ones that they’d very much like to get back to.

“I’m really sorry,” Nico whispered between kisses, still crying. “I can’t be the right person for you…”

_I’m still in love with you._

Karolina bit back that phrase, it’s a little useless now that they’ve made their decision.

Instead, she replied firmly with one last kiss.

“I’ll move on.”

Nico didn’t try to protest or chase her lips when Karolina broke the contact, she kept her eyes shut and sobbed to her hands as the fainting footsteps of the other girl echoed across the increasing void separating their worlds.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to love you...”

+

Gert and Molly were in a middle of an argument of whether or not to crash the party when Molly’s phone blasted a ringtone.

“I need a drink,” Karolina’s voice drifted from the other line. “Pick me up now or I’ll jump off the first cliff I see.”

Gert quickly revved the engine, and the distasteful smell of burning rubber wafted from the hard asphalt with Molly cursing loudly on the backseat and fumbled with her seatbelt.

Karolina was spacing out and leaning on one of the trees fringing the roadside a little ways outside of Chase’s parents’ expansive property when they arrived. She turned her head to the familiar sound of her car’s engine and saw the vehicle raising a cloud of dust on the dry road.

“What happened?” Gert and Molly both poked their heads out of the windows, concern flashing on their faces.

She didn’t answer, she just walked to the car and opened the door to the passenger seat without a single word from her lips. Her friends exchanged a dubious glance and studied her openly.

“So, did you have closure?”

“Are you trying to state the obvious?” Gert asked Molly in return for her question, while backing up and gunning the car down to the direction of the highway.

Karolina was silent as she kept her eyes on the blurred view of the passing scenery outside the window.

Another failed relationship, and once again, the reason for the break up was not her fault. Was she really just dumb in choosing her partners or Eros was her enemy in her past life during the Greek gods’ age?

“I guess the girl didn’t put up much of a fight about it,” Molly muttered, she sounded disappointed.

Gert glanced at the rearview mirror. “Would you prefer if she refused?”

“No…” Molly hesitated. “Still, it’s a little upsetting that it was that easy to let off someone you care about – if she genuinely cared about you.”

“Is it always letting go? What about holding on?” the younger girl added, wondering loudly.

Gert stared at the broken road riddled with stones and pebbles.

“She’s getting married,” she stated, as if that fact instantly answered all of Molly’s questions. “She doesn’t have much choice, does she?”

Karolina sighed, her consciousness landing back to earth.

“Are we gonna relive the excitement and drama of my tragic love stories or are we gonna find a place that can supply us alcohol?”

_The hell with pain and suffering. Nothing a plenty of drinks cannot cure._

+

The music was a little too loud, the place was a little too messy, the people were a little too rowdy and the temperature a little too hot.

Just perfect for a night of reality and free of disillusionment.

“What can I get you, ladies?” a bartender welcomed them as soon as they got settled at the bar. She was tall, dark, and attractive.

“Uh… Zen,” Molly leaned over to read the small nametag pinned to the bartender’s vest. “Our friend here needs something that would knock her out like a baseball bat only without the concussion.”

“Heart issues,” Gert clarified, to answer the confusion on the girl’s face. “Needs a strong drink.”

“Sure,” the bartender threw a sympathetic look at Karolina’s direction who was pretending to read the labels on the bottles neatly arranged on the back wall.

A shot glass filled with clear liquid was delivered to the lamenting female. She downed it in one gulp and asked for another.

Several more shots later and she was already flirting with everyone at the club. 

“Let’s go, Karolina,” Gert tried to pull her down from a random blonde guy’s lap after a couple of hours spent at the place, and the former’s getting a little too wild and intoxicated.

“That’s enough for tonight.”

“No,” she stubbornly swatted Gert’s hand away and continued playing with the guy who was clearly taking advantage of the situation.

“Come on,” Molly urged, almost pleading.

"You’re drunk.” 

“I’m not drunk…” Karolina giggled manically. Her eyelids already closed halfway, her face red. “I’m just having fun, I ought to have fun, I haven’t had fun since forever. You guys get a drink or something, it’s on me.” 

“You’re very generous, babe,” the dude huskily growled, nuzzling her jaw and hands exploring Karolina’s body. “I’m curious what else you have to offer.”

“Fuck you, she’s a lesbian,” Molly growled back, pushing the guy’s face away from  
Karolina’s. “Come on, we’ll drive you home.”

“Leave me alone!” Karolina snapped.

“Hey,” the guy said. “You heard her, leave the girl alone.”

“There’s no way we’d leave her alone with you, you sneaky bastard,” Gert slapped the guy’s hand discreetly moving up Karolina’s skirt and forcefully separated the two. Molly looked ready to kick the guy in the face.

“Wait,” the guy caught Karolina’s arm and tried to pull her back.

“Boy,” Gert glared at up at him venomously. “Keep doing that and you’ll wake up tomorrow morning in the hospital.”

The guy didn’t have time to retort when Molly harshly took Karolina’s arm from his hold.

“What’s your problem?” Karolina slurred as both her friends half-dragged and half-supported her out of the club. The dude was about to chase after them when Zen – the bartender – quickly blocked his way and sent him off.

“Our problem is you,” Gert replied, getting mad now. “You need to get a grip.”

“I don’t-” she tried to free herself from her friends’ grasp to no avail. “This is unfair! I’m trying to have fun!”

“This is not having fun!” Gert yelled at her and pushed her against the side of the car. Molly only had a second to get out of the way.

“You have fun when you’re enjoying what you do and it makes you happy. What you’re doing back there made you feel like a slut, didn’t it-”

A slap across the face cut Gert’s sentence short.

The latter was shocked for only about a split-second, and then returned the favor by slapping Karolina back just as hard. Molly blinked in confusion at the two of them, stunned by the display of violence.

It seemed like the blow was the only thing needed for rationality to resurface in Karolina’s alcohol-induced brain. She felt her reddish warm cheek, the hazy look in her eyes dissipating and was replaced with regret.

“I’m sorry…” Karolina whispered. “I was- I wasn’t… I’m sorry,” she broke down, crying on her hands.

Gert looked away, but she nodded, fully knowing what her friend felt and wanted to say.

“Let’s just go home,” Molly quietly helped Karolina to the car. “Everything will look brighter in the morning.”


End file.
